


Don't Fear Me

by Madjai6



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2018-04-07 10:59:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4260855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madjai6/pseuds/Madjai6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After walking into an argument between her team Skye realizes she can't stay there anymore. Fitz is at odds with everyone defending her. Jemma thinks she is something to be eradicated. Mack thinks Trip's death was her fault. And they said that they need protection from her. So she leaves. And that's how she ended up here on the steps of Avenger Tower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So I know my followers want updates to my Clexa stories but I wont be able to type a word about them until I get Skye out of my head and into words. There is mention of past rape, I don't go into any details, just how it has effected her.

Skye isn’t exactly sure when she decided to come here. Her initial plan was to erase herself again and go off grid until she got a handle on things herself. She couldn’t stop replaying the argument in her head. She heard them long before they knew she was there. She had nightmares about Jemma trying to turn her into an experiment before “eradicating” her. She remembered Fitz defending her and arguing with his friends just because of her. She remembers feeling more than ever that Trip’s death was her fault. All of these things won’t leave her mind at peace. She can never escape the last few moments of Trip’s life replaying over and over in her head like a nightmare on a loop. 

What are the protocols here? Is there a receptionist desk inside? Is there a buzzer on the door? She hasn’t let herself get close enough to even see. Should she just walk in? “Hey I’m here to see the Avengers, I’ll show myself to their floor.” If she’s being honest with herself she knows that they probably already know she’s there. She’s been standing there like a total creeper for about 20 minutes unsure of where to go from there. She knows Coulson probably had everyone on the lookout for her the moment he realized she was gone. Probably has Fitz monitoring security footage everywhere, not that he’s as good at it as she is. She doubts that Avenger Tower has anything less than the best security cameras and they know she’s there. 

“Might as well get it over with, no point in becoming a statue on the front steps” she mumbles as she walks up the steps towards the door. As she suspected there was a receptionist at a desk in a ridiculous and extravagant lobby. She was looking at her like she had been waiting on her to come inside for a while. 

“Hello Skye, Mr. Stark will see you now. He is on the 42nd floor and says to let you see yourself up. Welcome to Avenger Tower.” She smiled like she was trying a little too hard to be pleasant. Skye wondered how many crazies she had to deal with a day in this place. Images of crazy cosplayers trying to get to the elevator and being chased by security caused a giggle to escape and the receptionist side eyed her like maybe she was crazy too. 

As soon as she stepped on the elevator and pushed the button for floor 42 she nearly jumped back out before the doors closed. “Hello Miss Skye.”  
“Jarvis?” She had heard about Stark’s AI but this being her first trip to the tower was also her first interaction with him. She yes she would refer to him as a him, not it. He was too polite to be a it. 

“Yes Miss Skye, how are you doing today?” Way too polite to be an it. 

“Uhm.. I’m alright I guess. You can just call me Skye if you don’t mind.” 

“As you wish Skye, we are almost to the 42nd floor. It’s the Avengers main floor. It holds the kitchen and dining area as well as the living room and theater room. They are all home at the moment with the exception of Miss Romanoff and Mr. Barton.” Holy crap does that mean Thor and his arms are her? 

She didn’t have more than a moment to think about that possibility before the doors were opening. Tony Stark was standing there with a confused frown on his face.

“Skye is it? Hi, Tony Stark. Why are you here?” He doesn’t mince words does he?

She didn’t even know how to respond to that. She figured honesty was the best option. “I don’t exactly know. I guess I didn’t know where else to go.” 

“And why did you leave your team? We all got a call yesterday from the freaking Cavalry saying that you were a part of her team and had taken off and to keep an eye out for you and to call if we see you. Seeing as how we have never met and I don’t associate with any part of the tattered remains of shield I was a bit surprised when Jarvis recognized you and alerted me to your presence.” Long winded fellow, he is. “By the way, were you talking to yourself on my front steps?”

Of course he noticed that. And seriously? May called? They are obviously still keeping Coulson a secret. That one should go over well when it comes out. “Don’t call her that. And I left because I had to. I couldn’t stay with a team that is afraid of me and looks at me like some monster that needs to be crossed off.” Might as well come out with it all if you want him to let you stay. “Things have changed, I have changed, and it wasn’t a very welcome change for some of my team members.”

“Care to elaborate?” Steve Rogers chimed in coming around the corner.

Captain America. It’s Captain America. Skye had to remind herself that this was the least opportune moment to let her fangirl tendencies take over. It wasn’t long before they were joined by Bruce Banner, Pepper Pots, and fucking Thor.

“Maybe we should take this conversation somewhere more comfortable, she looks a bit shaken up and she obviously has a good reason for being here.” Bruce says with a reassuring smile on his face. 

Skye was led to the huge dining room and they all took seats around the table. She was a little nervous about telling these strangers about everything that had happened. But she needed somewhere to stay where she would be safe and everyone around her as well. She didn’t want to be alone again. She had never had a real family until Shield and she may not be able to have it with the Avengers but she at least doesn’t want to be alone. Well let’s begin, shall we? 

“So obviously you know who I am. I grew up as an orphan moving from family to family and never stayed anywhere for very long. I went out on my own when I was 14 years old and taught myself about computers. I was the best talent that The Rising Tide had. I even hacked into your tower a few times, I apologize for that by the way. Anyways, I got on shields radar and made myself pretty obvious and they walked right into it and grabbed me and brought me on board May’s plane for interrogation. We had a bit of an odd team but it worked for us. After that first day I was offered a place on the team and I took it. Everything was fine, or as fine as it can be in Shield, until Hydragate destroyed everything. I had literally just gotten my badge. I had that thing for like a day… Then we got into some problems with Ian Quinn and he ended up putting two in my gut and nearly killing me. He would have if I hadn’t been injected with this alien stuff that ended up healing me. That was a whole can of worms in itself but that’s a story for another time. We’ve also been dealing with this woman Raina, she’s the type to chase imaginary butterflies if you know what I mean. Her and Ian were both working for the Clairvoyant, who you probably already know about. She also knew my father. Anyways it turns out that my SO was a hydra sleeper agent and a total tool bag. He betrayed us for his SO who was an even bigger hydra tool bag and took me from the plane and introduced me to my father. Who turned out to be a psychotic murderer, things were really looking up for me. Forgive me if all of this is confusing, I’m really just trying to give you the rough draft. So Raina ended up being a Shield asset and she started telling me all of this crap about our destinies and how they were intertwined and how we were different. She said we needed to go to this alien city and go through some mist and we would see what we would become. Well long story short we did end up in that city, we did go through that mist, I lost someone very important to me and I came out much different than I went in. My team is afraid of me and some blame me for the death of one of our teammates in the caves and I had to leave.” She had to turn some things around and leave some things out to avoid accidentally bringing Coulson into the conversation. 

They all just stared at her for a moment before Thor spoke up. “I sense Kree on you, what was this mist you went through and tell me about the alien city.” Man really?

“Yes, it was a Kree temple. We had come across a Diviner, I don’t know if you know what those are but they turn some people into stone and they turn some people into something else entirely. If you have the, I don’t know the right word here, presence? Gift? If you have the gift already inside you the diviner does nothing but light up when you touch it. If an ordinary human touches it then they turn to stone and die. In order for any sort of inhuman transformation to take place you need the temple as well as the diviner. Raina took the diviner into the temple and I followed her. She put the diviner in place and the temple closed around us, not before my teammate slipped in with us. The diviner kind of exploded and the mist surrounded us and we all turned to stone, however Raina and myself broke out of the stone. It had just cocooned us and we came out like butterflies. I didn’t get as good of a look at her as I wanted to before an earthquake started to crumble the temple around me. Trip never came out of the stone, he crumbled right in front of me. I knew that something was wrong with me, I could feel the earthquake. I could feel it in every cell in my body. I could feel and hear the vibrations. The more afraid I became the worse the shaking got. It didn’t take a genius to realize where it was coming from although it was much later when I finally admitted it to myself.”

They once again sat in silence for a beat, processing everything they were being told. It was Pepper that decided to voice her curiosity before anyone else. “Admitted what to yourself exactly?” She knew, if she was being honest with herself, she had put the pieces together. 

Suddenly the room started lightly shaking. It wasn’t even enough to knock anything down. Just enough to be very noticeable. “The earthquake wasn’t just an earthquake. It was me. I have little to no control over it, this is new to me and completely overwhelming. It was just luck that I managed to cause a little bit of vibration to show you guys that I’m not batshit crazy and I’m telling the truth.” She looked around for their reactions. Bruce looked fascinated, she hoped not in the same way Whitehall was. Pepper looked concerned, and there was pity in her eyes. Steve looked thoughtful. Tony looked elated, like she had just given him a new shiny toy. 

“Can you do that again? Please do that again.” He said like an excited child. It seemed like he had no concept of appropriate behavior. He was clearly more excited about it than she was. And didn’t she just say she has no control over it? 

“I can’t control this. I don’t even understand it. The best I have been able to figure out is that I can hear the vibration that things give off. Everything I have come across has a vibration. It seems nothing is ever still. I am able to amplify those vibrations. What you just felt me to was take the vibrations in the floor and amplify it a little bit. It mostly seems to be tied to my emotions, which sucks. I’m kind of an emotional train wreck.” No truer words were ever spoken.

“Would you mind letting me run some tests on you? Make sure you’re okay?” Bruce, ever the scientist, just had to ask. 

“Sure, Simmons ran about a thousand tests and quarantined me but Fitz changed her results so I never even got to know the real results. I do know that my DNA is completely changed, so that should be fun for you.” She didn’t miss the excitement in his eyes. 

“What made you decide that you had to leave because they were afraid of you? Did they tell you that they were afraid or did you just assume the worst and take off?” Steve, the thinker it seemed. 

“Jemma has a strong mistrust for all things unknown. She is a biochemist and got too curious about the unknown and she somewhat blames herself for Trip’s death. She feels like she allowed it by being so curious about aliens and the diviner. So when we got back she didn’t know yet that I had changed, but she had ran into an obviously different Raina. She started talking about Raina and powered people like they were a plague that needed to be eradicated. Her words were “sure plagues are good for research but eventually they need to be eradicated.” Or something like that. I remember the word eradicated for sure. She said Raina needed to be put down. And I couldn’t help feeling like she would want me to be put down as well if she knew. That’s what made Fitz change my results. He had gotten the same impression from Jemma. We were both scared of her. Mack is terrified of anything alien and he blames me for Trip’s death. I walked in on an argument they were all having. Fitz wanted to protect me from them, but they said that it was them who needed protection from me. That’s when I knew I had to leave. I want to control this and learn how to use it and how to keep it put away. I want to make sure that everyone around me is safe. I don’t want anyone to fear me.”

They all looked thoughtful for a moment. Not seeming to know what to say. Finally Tony flashed a grin at her and said “Welcome to Avenger Tower, I’ll see that Jarvis finds you a suitable floor. You can stay if you promise to let the mad scientist do tests on you and make things shake.” Seriously he’s just a big kid.. She could see Pepper shaking her head looking like a mother who is at her wits end with her child’s behavior. 

“Thank you so much. It means a lot to me. And I’ll do my best to refrain from hacking the tower. We should really discuss the holes in your security though. I could do wonders for your company.” She had a slight smirk at the look on his face. 

“Once you get settled I expect you to find my office and tell me exactly what you mean by holes in my security and you did mention earlier that you hacked me. We clearly need to have a talk.” He didn’t look like a happy child anymore, he looked slightly awed and slightly irritated. Good.

She answered a few more questions from Thor and Bruce before they dispersed and Jarvis told her which floor she would be staying on. Steve didn’t have much to say, he was just thoughtfully staring at her. Taking her in. 

Jarvis took her to the 38th floor. He made small talk on the short ride down to her floor. Seriously, an AI making small talk? Apparently Steve is above her and Natasha is below her. She wondered when she would meet the famous Natasha. The one responsible for all of Shield’s secrets being made totally public. She was torn between drooling over the thought of meeting her and being totally terrified. Black Widow had her reputation after all.

“Welcome to your new home Skye, the entire floor is yours. There is a kitchen, dining area, bedroom and en suite bathroom, entertainment room, and living room. If you need anything just ask. I’m always around” the AI assured.

“Way to sound totally creepy J Man. But thanks. I will probably be bugging you a lot, my bad in advance.”

“You are no bother Skye, I assure you. Enjoy your new apartment.” 

When Jarvis went silent she really took in her surroundings. This place was huge. High ceilings and an open floor plan. From where she was standing in the entrance of the room she could see the kitchen and the island it even had a breakfast bar. She could see the dining area with a small kitchen table and 4 chairs. As she walked further in she saw the hallway that led to the bedroom and entertainment room she guessed. She had just been in the living room, she wasn’t sure she liked the elevator opening right into her living room but Jarvis had assured her that it was the private elevator and only the Avengers had access to it. Small comfort that was. She walked into the first room she came to down the hallway and realized it was the home theater room. It had 4 comfy looking recliners and a huge screen on the wall, she was going to like this room. The room at the end of the hall was her bedroom. It was huge with a California King bed against the back wall. She had a solid wall of windows that she seriously hoped had shades. She had a dresser and a vanity and pretty dark leather settee. She had a walk in closet that was 5 times the size of her room on the bus, and barely any clothes to put in it. The bathroom was glorious. She had a huge shower and a garden tub, she would definitely be soaking in that. But for now she wanted a shower and a nap. 

“Jarvis do those windows darken?”

“Yes Skye, Would you like me to black them out for you?”

She sighed in relief. “Yes please, I’d like a nap after my shower.”

“Right away Skye.” 

Darkness started to descend on the bedroom as she was finding something clean to wear in her bag for after her shower. She had been gone for a whole day. She hadn’t showered or gotten any sleep since leaving the Bus. She decided to face life after her nap. For now she just wanted to be able to relax for the first time in she didn’t even know how long.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted this to be longer but I also wanted to get it up as soon as possible. I still want to write chapter to my other stories so I will try and get another chapter of this in either tonight or tomorrow. I plan on taking full advantage of having the computer. I skimmed through it to proof read and I'm sure I missed some things. I'm sorry about that! Just remember everyone that I am not a writer for Marvel and my writing of the characters might not be exactly like the movies and comics. Thats why this is called fanfiction. So I apologize if they seem ooc.

Skye didn’t think she had ever been in a shower as divine as this. First and foremost the pressure was amazing, and then there were different settings. She currently had it on the massage setting and she was standing there enjoying the pulsating spray on her back. It’s not often that she thinks she might fall asleep standing up but today might be the day. She wanted to stay in there until all of the tension from the past 3 days melts away. She wants it to run off of her body with the scalding water. She knows it isn’t going to be that easy but she stands there anyways. 

When she finally bring herself to get out and dry off she only feels like a little of the weight has been lifted. Yes she managed to get away from her problem but that doesn’t mean it went away. Her team is still at the playground, still scared and weary of her. She has removed herself from the environment but that doesn’t mean she removed the issue. 

She decides to focus on the positives of the day. She has some place safe to stay. Some place with people that aren’t so different than her. She can’t be any more dangerous than the Hulk, at least when she goes off her rocker an icer will halt her in her tracks. She doesn’t have to fear for everyone’s safety here. At least she hopes.

When she’s finally dressed in some comfortable shorts and a tank top she sinks into her new bed and lets out a content sigh, almost a moan, at how comfortable it is. True to his word Jarvis starts blacking the windows out and as the room sinks into darkness Skye sinks with it. The last thing she notices before the windows are all the way shaded is that the sun is setting. Maybe she’ll just sleep until tomorrow morning. She can only hope as she finally drifts off. 

Natasha loves coming home in the middle of the night after being off on a mission. She can get to her floor and take a shower and go to sleep without anyone bothering her. Sure some of the Avengers are definitely still up at this time but they are usually doing their own thing. The ones that have trouble sleeping stay to themselves in the wee hours.

She nearly falls into her living room when the elevator doors open and she steps out and no longer has the walls to support her weight. She is not in the best shape after her last mission. She has been busy tying up all of the loose ends she created when she spilled all of her secrets onto the internet. She can’t really complain too much, she did it to herself. But it was what had to be done and she can accept that and do what she needs to in order to fix her mess. 

It isn’t easy to walk with a gunshot wound in her thigh, luckily it missed her arteries and the damage is minimal for her. She just needs to get the bullet out and get off of it and she should be good as new by morning. She may be a little stiff and sore for a couple days but the wound will close and heal. It’s the only part of her red room programming and experimentation that she can appreciate. She actually would like to live a full long life and in her line of work accelerated healing is pretty much the only way to increase the chances of that happening. 

After she showered for at least 45 minutes washing blood and grime off of her body she couldn’t think of anything she would rather do than sink into her bed and sleep for a couple of days. In reality she knew that after about 6 hours he would be completely rested, but days would be nice. She just needed to wrap her wound and put on some pajama pants and a t shirt. She was just about to drift totally off when she felt the shaking. It started as a small vibration just barely noticeable making her question of she was losing her mind. As she laid there trying to decide if it was real or in her head it got stronger and the glass of water on her night stand started to tremble. 

The person staring at her through the glass of the quarantine room on the bus was not her friend. She had the body of Jemma Simmons but it wasn’t her. She was looking at Skye with coldness and hatred in her eyes and disgust in the curl of her lips. “It’s better this way Skye, you are a danger to yourself and everyone around you. This thing you’ve become isn’t natural. It isn’t human. This is as much for you as it is for anyone else. It needs to end. You can be at peace.” Skye couldn’t believe what was happening.

Terror seized her as she looked around the outside of the room as her team looked on. Fitz wasn’t there and she was scared to death of what they might have done to him. May looked on with her blank face perfectly in place. Emotionless. No pity, no regret, nothing at all. Coulson looked at the floor, at least he had the respect not to look her in the face while allowing this to happen. Mack wouldn’t look at her at all, probably too disgusted with her existence to be bothered with seeing her. Bobbi and Lance looked at her with fear and pity, she didn’t want or need either of those. 

She wanted to try and reason with them, talk some sense into them. She wouldn’t hurt anyone, she didn’t want to hurt anyone. She would do anything they asked her to do. She would be put on the index, she would go wherever they wanted her to go to train. She could learn to control it! She opened her mouth to try and plead her case but nothing would come out. She tried and tried but no sound came out. What was happening to her? Had they already done something to her while she had been asleep? Her voice just would not cooperate with her. 

“Just close your eyes Skye, I promise it won’t hurt. You’ll just fall asleep and then you’ll be free. This will all be over.” She probably meant for the words to be reassuring but the lack of any emotions in her voice just broke Skye’s heart instead. This is it, it’s happening. A feeling of absolute hopelessness seized her heart. She was about to be put down like a dog who had bitten someone’s child. She was considered too dangerous to live by the people she called her family. She is used to rejection by now, it doesn’t come as a surprise. But just because it isn’t a surprise doesn’t make it hurt any less. She feels like her heart has just been ripped from her chest and she’s forced to live on with the painful hole it left behind. But the pain will be over shortly. Jemma is doing something on her tablet so she assumes it’s about to happen. 

Despite knowing what’s coming she tries to speak once again, trying her hardest to scream but still nothing comes out. She hears the hiss before she sees the mist coming from the vents. The room is filling up quickly and she moves around the room trying to find any way out in a panic. When she can’t escape the growing cloud of mist she tries to hold her breath. She squeezes her eyes shut and closes off her airways. It works for a few minutes but then the need to breathe and her will to live forces her to suck in as big of a breath as possible. 

She immediately regrets it. As the mist fills her lungs she chokes and hits the floor. Jemma lied, it hurt so badly. She doesn’t ever think she’s felt this kind pain. It’s a searing burning feeling as it enters her lungs. Her mouth and throat and nasal passages all feel as if she’s just inhaled acid. Her lungs seize like there is a set of hands squeezing them refusing to let them expand. Not that she wants them to, they are being seared from the inside out. At this point all she wants is for the end to come. She just wants to feel blissful nothingness. She is wishing for death, silently begging for it. 

“Jarvis what the hell is going on?” Natasha yells flying out of bed thinking the place is under attack. She already has her gun in hand, heading to the elevator ignoring the pain in her thigh.

“It would appear that Skye is having a nightmare. I don’t think she will do any damage to the building but she is in a lot of emotional stress it would seem.” He sounded as concerned as an AI could. Who the hell is Skye? “She is on the floor above you, I would hurry Miss Romanoff. “

Wondering who Skye is and why she’s here, she gets really impatient waiting for the private elevator to get to her floor. “Jarvis why is the elevator taking so long?”

“Steve is currently on it going to Skye’s floor. It should only be a moment.”

She decides to use her stairs, the shaking is getting stronger. It takes her no time to run up the single flight of stairs between her and the source of the quake. The door is unsurprisingly locked so she wastes no time kicking it in. She gets through the door at the same time as Cap rushes off the elevator. Both of them, knowing the layout of the apartments, head for the bedroom. They heard the screaming as soon as they were on the floor so they know the nightmare must be bad. Natasha having experience with these things doesn’t want to rush right to her and wake her up, that sort of thing has proved dangerous in her past experience. Steve however has no such apprehensions. He runs through the door and directly to her bed. She gets her first good look at the thrashing girl, she looks so young and scared. 

“Skye wake up!! Come back Skye, you have to come back!” Steve is yelling at her trying to shake her gently enough to not harm her but strong enough to wake her. It works, she wakes up gasping and shaking. 

Natasha is not too relieved seeing as how the shaking hasn’t stopped or even let up. The girl is trying her hardest to get out of Steve’s grip begging and pleading and apologizing. Nat has no idea what’s going on in her head but clearly this dream was a bad one. Before she had a chance to take action she heard the others arriving. Clint came in through the vent, Banner came in on the elevator, Tony had Jarvis open the window for him and he flew in wearing the suit carrying a very worried looking Pepper, Thor flew in right after him. 

When Skye finally realized what was going on and felt the vibrations extending from her body the fear set in. She finally realized it had been a dream but now she doesn’t know how to stop the quake. She isn’t even sure who it is that is holding onto her. Her eyes are screwed shut and she’s trying her best to concentrate and stop the shaking. She can hear voices all around her asking what’s going on and voicing their concerns. She tries her hardest to block them all out and get herself under control. She hears Tony mention that the tower is strong and the most she will do is knock the stuff off the walls and maybe crack the paint. That eases her panic a little.

“I can’t stop it, I’m trying. I don’t know how. Sedate me! Someone needs to sedate me before it gets worse. Please!” She pleaded with whoever was listening to her. She knows her powers can get much stronger than this and she’s getting more frustrated the longer she shakes without being able to make it stop. Frustration isn’t going to help her control herself. She became aware of someone kneeling in front of where she was sitting on the edge of the bed trying to get her to focus on them.

Natasha snapped to attention hearing the girl beg to be sedated. She wasn’t going to let that happen. She didn’t know this girl from Eve but she knew the feeling of thinking you’re dangerous. Skye is so afraid of herself she wants to be put under to stop from hurting anyone. She is in no place to be comforting someone but she’s gonna give it a shot. She’ll say it’s because she doesn’t want the tower coming down, but really it’s because she knows this feeling, this pain. “Skye look at me, listen to my voice and focus.” She didn’t get much of a reaction so she puts her hands on the girls hunched shoulders and straightens her up to look at her. “Skye, focus. You can stop this. Relax and focus and let your body calm down.” Honestly Natasha has no idea if calming her body will do anything, it’s just the logical theory. It seems to be coming from stress and fear. She hopes what she’s saying will actually work. 

Skye hears her and she’s trying. She finally lets herself look at who is it and she’s shocked to realize its Natasha. This woman she’s never met is trying to talk her down. She tries to focus, she looks her in the eyes and listens to her voice and tries to relax her body one area at a time so she can focus on stopping the vibration. She can feel it working much to her shock and elation. It’s slow but she feels the shaking decrease in intensity before it stops altogether. Natasha looks as surprised and relieved as she is. “Thank you” she says shakily, still reeling from her dream. 

Skye looks around the room at the crowd and suddenly she’s overwhelmed with humiliation. All of these people she just met got to see her at her most vulnerable and dangerous. She braces herself for the yelling and accusations and the order to pack her bag and get out. She can’t meet anyone’s eyes and can’t even bring herself to apologize or say anything. This isn’t Skye. Skye is strong and brave and she’s known rejection all her life. So why does she feel like a dog that’s been kicked? Probably because her teams rejection and the dream are still heavy on her mind.

“So.. That was something. You feeling better tremors?” Count on Tony to sound completely unbothered after something like that. Skye felt her cheeks burning and knew she was blushing, a new wave of embarrassment coming over her. What’s wrong with her? She’s acting like a scared little kid. 

She takes a moment to take in everyone’s expressions. Natasha is still standing in front of her but a few steps back watching her cautiously. Barton is standing back against the windows watching from a distance. Pepper looks concerned and sad at the same time. Banner looks nervous. Thor looks contemplative and Tony looks ecstatic. Steve is standing next to Natasha frowning, it looks like he didn’t like not being able to get through when Nat did so easily.

“I’m sorry. I’ll just get my things.” She looks back at the ground and makes to move through them to get to the closet where she has put her still packed bag and retrieve her toiletries from the bathroom. She is trying to put her wall back up and swallow her emotions. She has been an emotional wreck for days and she’s sick of it. She is the one who doesn’t let things bother her. She’s the girl who was passed around and unwanted and she knows how to block that out. She can take care of herself and this won’t hurt for long. The team, The Avengers, and Shield will be better without her and she can start somewhere fresh. 

She almost gets to the closet when a metal hand grabs her arm and turns her around. “And where exactly do you think you’re going?” He sounded outraged. 

Skye scoffs, getting some of her fire back. “I could have brought your building down with all of you inside it. I need to leave.” She tries to remove her arm from his hold but it doesn’t work out like she hopes.

“Oh please, have some faith in my tower. You would have to put in some serious effort to bring this thing down. The Hulk lives here. If you want we can have your floor reinforced the way Bruce’s is but when I said you could stay that wasn’t conditional. We could use you, and it seems you could use us as well.” She didn’t expect that at all. He must have noticed her expression. “Don’t think I’m being sappy, I like the way you make things shake.” Of course.

“Okay let’s give her some space. I think it’s under control so everyone can clear out of here. Skye, if you need anything just tell Jarvis, he’ll get someone here immediately.” Thank goodness for Pepper. Skye is getting really irritated with the people in her room watching her like some circus attraction. 

Everyone get on the elevator together, Tony griping about the door Natasha kicked down and the vent Clint busted through. Mumbling about how they cause more damage than they’re worth. Barton holds his hand out to keep the door open and gives Nat a questioning look and she shakes her head. The doors close and it’s just them. 

“So I guess now’s as good a time as any, I’m sure you already know who I am, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Wanna tell me why you’re here?” She asked not exactly unkindly. She didn’t seem harsh, just wanting information. Needing to understand what’s going on. She’s a spy after all. Knowing things is her thing. 

It was irritating enough to have to tell her story once, she definitely isn’t going over the whole thing again. Natasha can ask the others if she really wants to know. She only told them everything because it was nothing they couldn’t hear from May and she needed to be honest so they would let her stay. “I’m a shield agent, or I was. I was working with a mobile unit trying to rebuild shield under Fury’s command. There weren’t very many of us, but we worked well together. One of our team ended up being a Hydra sleeper agent and the trust just wasn’t the same after that. When I got these powers it was kind of a bad situation and we lost one of our own. My team is afraid of me and they don’t trust me and I couldn’t stay on the plane anymore. Tony agreed to let me stay here. I’m sorry I woke you up.” 

She’s back to looking at the floor. Not so much because she’s upset, just confused about how to talk to this woman. She has never met her and only has reputation and rumor to go by. She has already made a spectacle of herself in front of all of the Avengers and the Avenger’s first lady. The last thing she wants is to be analyzed by the best spy since Fury. She really just wants to go to sleep and come morning try her best to make herself scarce and be as quiet of a presence as possible. 

Natasha knows why she cares. She’s not cold. The Black Widow definitely is, but not Natasha. She isn’t the warmest person and she doesn’t go around making friends but she has grown to care a great deal about her team. She was once where Skye is. Dangerous, still trying to work through the horrors in her mind as Shield deprogrammed her. All of her memories coming back. Knowing exactly what she’s capable of and how many people she’s hurt. How many lives she’s ended. She knows what it feels like to feel like you’re too dangerous to be around people and feeling like everyone fears you. It isn’t a very pleasant feeling. 

“You wanna talk about the dream? It isn’t easy to open up about what haunts you, but when I first joined it helped.” Nat isn’t sure whether she wants her to talk or if she prefers that she turn down the offer. 

Skye looks up at her confused. Natasha freaking Romanoff is asking her if she wants to talk about her bad dream? Oh she thinks not. She does still want some of her pride in tact after this whole ordeal. Also, she’s more reluctant to admit this, even to herself, but she’s still shaken up about the nightmare. She doesn’t need to look any more pathetic than she already does. And for some reason she wants to impress this woman. It’s the famous Black Widow. She’s always been somewhat of a fascination of hers. 

“Skye I can practically hear you thinking. Look, you don’t have to tell me anything. I mean we just met and you have no reason to trust me or open up to me. It would be silly to expect that of you. But I went through something similar when Shield first picked me up and Barton was there for me and I fought him far longer than I wish I would have. Talking helps. If you don’t want to talk to me, talk to pepper.” Pepper is the easiest person in the world to talk to.

Skye still isn’t sure what to say. She raises her chin and squares her shoulders and says the easiest lie in the world to say. “I’m fine, but I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.” She tried so hard to keep her voice level. Using the steady breathing to regulate her heart rate like May taught her. 

Natasha knows walls going up when she sees them. She knows she’s just been shut out. Nothing more she can do now. It’s all up to Skye now. Not her problem until Skye decides to talk, if she decides to talk. She can’t shake it though. She doesn’t want to leave it alone, but she will. “Alright, well get some sleep. Hopefully some restful sleep. The sun will be up in a few hours. We usually eat breakfast together if you decide you want to join us.”

Skye just nods, wanting her out of there as soon as possible so she can fall apart in peace. She can feel the hysteria coming on again and she needs to work on her heart rate. She needs to put some soft music on and do tai chi and try to get that emotionless face of Simmons out of her head. She can almost feel the choking burn in her throat and lungs. When the elevator opens and Natasha steps into it giving Skye one last uncertain look before the doors close Skye finally releases her breath.


	3. Happy Note! Sort of...

Hello beautiful people! So I lost my job. My full time job with benefits and pto that I loved. My wonderful dayshift job with residents that I loved with all my heart and coworkers that were like family. I was GOOD at my job. Why did I get fired, you ask? Because I went to corporate about our Director of Nurses calling me a dike behind my back and making all kinds of remarks about my sexuality and generally treating me like crap because I'm a lesbian. So I got her fired. They had my back immediately and she was terminated. Why did I get fired? Because our Executive Director(big boss) almost lost his job because he let her basically run the place and never left his office. He didn't do anything about her behavior and they took him to task for it. SO he has treated me like shit ever since and written me up for every little thing that he could until he could fire me. Which he did. So here I am. Idk if anyone actually cares but that's where I'm at. So moral of the story I'm going to be writing tonight. Yay an update.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update on my mental state, it's not good. Thanks for all the comments about me losing my job. It sucks but honestly I'm proud of who I am and I could have just kept my mouth shut and not said anything but I shouldn't have to. I shouldn't have to be called a dike at work like being a dike is actually a bad thing. I shouldn't have her treating me differently than the other girls because of my sexuality. I shouldn't have to deal with new rules stating that no one can talk about their relationships just so I wouldn't talk about mine. She needed to go. And I'm facing the consequences of my pride. Also this is shorter than I wanted, I wanted to get to the interaction between Steve and Natasha while Skye is passed out. But I have class in an hour so I need to be getting ready. I'm going to try and write more when I get done with class tonight and get the kids in bed.

The rest of the week had gone by pretty smoothly. No more incidents, mainly because Skye hasn’t gotten any more sleep. She’s never had a nightmare while awake. Don’t sleep, problem solved. The team has been giving her space to adjust but she can tell their starting to get impatient. Bruce is really concerned with getting her into his training room to work on control and Tony just really wants to see her use her powers again. Natasha and Clint have been gone for the past 3 days and aren’t due back again until tomorrow morning. Skye’s happy to be getting a break from the most inquisitive set of eyes in the tower. 

Even when she isn’t looking at her she can always feel when Natasha’s eyes are on her. She can feel the tingles on the back of her neck that you get when you just know you’re being watched. It’s like being studied. Like the assassin is trying to scope out a target. Skye doesn’t know much personally about the other woman but she knows that she doesn’t want to be a target. She knows that she doesn’t want her eyes on her. So the past few days she’s been coming out of her room more often. She comes and sits at breakfast with Tony, Bruce, and Steve. She never says any more than is necessary to be considered polite but she’s there and it’s a start.

She thinks Bruce can tell that she hasn’t been sleeping. He keeps asking her how she’s feeling and if she’s had anymore nightmares. She always goes with the liar’s standard and says she’s fine. She doesn’t want them trying to make her sleep and then her bring everyone rushing back into her room in the middle of the night again. She still isn’t over the embarrassment of that. She doubt’s it would be the same way again now that they know what to expect but embarrassing all the same. Pepper would be the main one badgering her about the bags under her eyes but luckily she’s been gone on business since Monday and isn’t back yet.

She also found out that her old team and Tony got into it pretty bad. Apparently Tony threatened them with the combined fury of the entire Avengers team if he came within 1,000 feet of the tower. It’s honestly shocked her the way Tony has taken her in. She has this theory that he’s trying to give her something he never had when he was growing up. He was raised by nannies and she was raised by nuns, they aren’t so different. Obviously he had everything he needed and she didn’t but they never had what they really wanted, which was loving parents. So maybe he sees her as some charity case, either way she could use some charity so who is she to question it?

It’s 4am on a Friday morning and she has her sound system blaring Three Days Grace trying to keep herself awake. Riot is currently playing and she’s been dancing around the living room singing at the top of her lungs for the last hour. Even with her training she’s starting to get too tired to keep it up. She hasn’t slept in 5 days and she’s pretty sure if she wasn’t part alien she would probably be in some stage of insanity by this point. She has to get out and walk around or she’s going to lose the battle with herself and take her chances in the bed. What better place to go than the gym?

Of course as soon as she walks in she sees Steve pounding away at the punching bag, she really should have known it wouldn’t be empty. She knows she isn’t the only one with sleeping problems. She decides the best thing to do is just to ignore him unless he speaks and start a workout of her own. But going unnoticed is too much to ask for.

“Can’t sleep?”

She closes her eyes and wills her face not to show the exhaustion her body feels. “I’m an early riser, figured I’d take a break from tai chi and check out the gym.” Then an idea occurred to her. He may be a supersoldier but she was trained by Melinda May herself. “You wanna spar?”

His eyes grew wide and he started sputtering, seemingly trying to decline without insulting her. Ever the gentleman. He finally settled on “I don’t want to hurt you. I’m sure you’re perfectly capable of handling yourself Skye but I’m enhanced. And I know you’re enhanced too I just don’t want to hurt you.”

“Easy there killer, don’t hurt yourself.” It was obvious that he was flustered. “I’m not enhanced, I’m part alien. My abilities were always inside me, they just needed a wakeup call. I can handle it. I was trained by someone who could give you a run for your money and she’s totally human.” 

He looked contemplative for a second, like weighing the risk of saying yes and possibly hurting the girl. He finally decided to just go for it and pull his punches. “Alright take your stance.”

Skye had a Cheshire cat grin on her face as she lowered herself and set her feet with her hands up at the ready. They started a slow circle, sizing each other up. Skye realized she was going to have to make the first move so she lunged forward and delivered a lightning quick jab to his jaw and connected with clearly more force than he was expecting. 

He stumbled backwards, more from the surprise than anything. Even being enhanced this girl had a punch that he was proud of. He had clearly underestimated this girl, she was not only extremely strong but she was quick. He got back into his stance and started circling with her again, eyes more focused on her movements now than they were. She had a shit eating grin on her face now.

“Still think you’re going to hurt me?” She was honestly surprised that she was able to move as quickly as she was with her lack of sleep. She never even knew the extent of her abilities but she’s starting to wonder if shaking is only part of it. After 5 days she should be having severe problems functioning but she’s feeling more refreshed than she has in days. Like she’s gotten her 50th wind and she’s ready to go. 

“Don’t let one punch make you cocky, Skye. It could get you hurt.” Not by him of course. But he decided he needed to give her what she was asking for. He wouldn’t hit her, but he’d wrestle that smirk off of her face. He lunged for her and grabbed her around the waist and with a graceful flip he had her on her back gasping for breath. It didn’t take her but a second to get back up though and then she was coming for him.

She gave him little option when she started throwing very well placed punches at him. It was all he could do to block them and she got more than a few in. Realizing that he had actually severely underestimated Skye he started throwing punches back at her. They started a lightning fast dance of punches and blocks and everything came to an abrupt stop when Skye’s foot connected with his solar plexus and sent him stumbling backwards. 

Skye couldn’t believe she had that amount of power. She could feel it coursing through her veins. She felt the hum of her earthquake powers under her skin as well. She was just overwhelmed and didn’t notice the red hair and green eyes watching her. Before she could notice anything black spots started invading her vision. Steve’s concerned voice sounded like it was coming from a mile away. Everything faded to black and she was falling but she never hit the ground. Red and green were the last things she saw before she was out.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm at work typing this on my phone. I have no outline. No rough draft. And no idea what is about I happen. I'm just going to start typing and see where it goes. Severe apologies in advance. This is probably how you'll get updates from now on. I really do hate sitting at my computer and never have the time since I can't bring it here. I promise I'll try my best to be regular with my updates. I really do love this pairing.

"It's been 2 days Bruce why is she still out?" Natasha really wanted some answers. She has a feeling she knows what happened but with Skye's unknown physiology she can't be sure. She assumes it comes down to Skye not sleeping. There's no way after how bad that first nightmare was that Skye is sleeping and just not having another. 

She had asked Tony if there had been any other incidents while she was gone and he said all had been quiet, including Skye. She was happy to hear that she had been coming out more often but not too happy to hear she was still so withdrawn. Without any new incidents she came to the conclusion that Skye hasn't slept since her first night in the tower. 

She had gone to the gym to find Steve and get some sparring in when she saw them going at it. All she could do was sit there and watch, mesmerized. Skye moved with snake like precision and speed. Every hit and block perfectly placed. She could see that the girl had Steve breaking a sweat and giving it his all. 

She couldn't believe the amount of strength she was seeing in Skye. She was physically moving the mountain that is Steve Rogers. She was in a trance until she saw Skye start to sway on her feet and swing wild a couple of times. She knew the signs of a collapse and she was moving her feet without a thought. Steve clearly hadn't noticed the change in skye because he gave her a punch to the face that could have knocked someone's head off, probably expecting her to block it like she had been. She went out like a light and Natasha was there to catch her. 

Steve had looked like he would be sick and he hasn't stopped beating himself up since. Skye needed to wake up for more than just herself. Everyone was worried. 

"I've had my suspicions about her not sleeping as well Tasha, just haven't been able to confirm it. If she really hasn't slept in 5 days then this sleep is a good thing. Her body needs to heal. She needs to catch up. She'll wake up when she's ready. She still has perfectly healthy vital signs."

"Got any theories on what you saw on the cameras between her and Steve? I'm honestly not sure she couldn't match me blow for blow. It takes a lot to impress me. I've seen a lot of shit in my life. That was unreal..."

When Tasha brought her in and told Bruce what had happened after his initial checking and fussing and getting her all hooked up and settled in he had pulled up the training room footage to see what exactly had happened when she went down. He saw the knock out blow of course but she was already on the verge of going down before he threw the punch. 

Of course he had repeatedly told Steve that when he would come in hovering like a worried mother. It didn't change the guilt in his eyes though. Typical gentleman. He knew it was eating him up. Steve Rogers, the ultimate good guy, who would never dream of laying his hands on a woman in a negative way, had knocked out a young woman with a championship winning punch to the jaw. 

Her jaw should have been shattered. It should have been totally dislocated and broken into pieces from the force of the blow. But it wasn't. There wasn't even a bruise. He has a feeling he hasn't even begun to scratch the surface of what all new abilities this girl has since going trough the mist. The thought makes him giddy as well as apprehensive. 

"I honestly have no idea. She's a total unknown to us from a scientific point of view. I have no way of knowing what all changed within her without extensive testing. And even then we don't know what changes will show themselves and which ones won't. All I know so far is her DNA compared to what I got from the shield database from before the incident is completely changed. She isn't a human anymore. I don't know what that means for her and I don't know what that means for those around her. But if she wants to learn control I'm willing to do everything I can to help her with that." Bruce said with confidence. 

Natasha was a little surprised by the amount of conviction in Bruce's voice when he vowed to help Skye. She shouldn't have been though. Hadn't they all been where she is? Feeling so out of control of their bodies and minds? Bruce probably more than anyone. Her with her programming. Tony when his core was killing him. Barton when he was under control of the staff. That nightmare had gotten to all of us. Seeing her so terrified and in pain. All of them had started to care for her in the short amount of time she had been in their lives. 

After that she left him to his work. She needed a break from the infirmary. Needed some space to think of a plan for Skye. This girl desperately needs someone on her side. She needs someone to have her back. After what Pepper told her of Skye's rambled background story, Skye has never had someone on her side before. She needs a mentor. A friend. Someone she can count on. Natasha has decided to be that person for her. Was there ever really another option? She owes it to Skyento give her what neither of them has ever had. 

It was with that in mind that she found herself calling an old friend up to meet for lunch. She couldn't do this all on her own. Skye was so far gone in self hatred and self fear that it's going to take a village to raise her back up so to speak. To bring her back to herself. To undo the damage that her team's rejection caused her. The damage that her entire life full of rejection has caused her. She's going to choose her. She's going to make her a priority in her life. She'll train her. Be there for her. Listen to her. Make her understand that she matters. Just like someone did for her a few years ago. 

She's going to be for Skye who Maria Hill was for her. And who better to ask for help than Maria herself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm basically not really following many of the actual MCU storylines. I am way too tired all the time to catch timeline mess ups. I'll be all over the place and make a fool of myself. So not really an AU. Just my own timeline and storylines. Jaiying(traitor to mothers everywhere) does not exist. Nor does afterlife. Ultron. None of that. Thanks for sticking with this and let's see where i goes! I never know until I start writing. I'm experiencing it as much as you are.


	6. Enter Maria!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so nervous about writing Maria. We didn't get a ton of characterization in the movies and I don't want her to be a carbon copy of her comic self so I'm going to try and do a good in between as well as my own interpretation. So she's MY Maria. She isn't going to be strictly in character. I still don't own any of this in just borrowing her and putting my own spin on things.

"You know I never thought we'd find another you, but it seems another you found us." 

"You honestly have no idea. You should have seen her fight, Maria. It was something so unreal you have to see it to believe it. Come back home with me and I'll show you." 

"So you really think we can help her? You really think I can help her? Helping you almost destroyed us both. Can we do it again?"

"I think we can. There are so many similarities between her and I but there are also differences. Where I lashed out with aggression and anger she only retracts into herself and fears the safety of everyone around her. She would never intentionally hurt you and if she ever did she would hate herself even more for it. She needs us Hill. She needs you." 

"Alright. You've sold me, Red. It looks like mama bear is coming back home to raise another cub. Anything else I should know before I jump down this rabbit hole?"

"I've told you everything we know so far. But there is one more thing. Absolutely zero contact with Shield team 616. They are cut off from all communication until I figure out just who is responsible for the state of mind this girl is in. And when I do they'll be lucky if I don't cross them off instantly. I have my eye on one Jemma Simmons and I'd like to know if she was the only one. They broke her. They were her first family and they turned on her like she was some disgusting creature to be feared and taken out. I want nothing to do with them and I want them FAR away from her." 

"Consider it done. Just please tell me at some point we can actually talk to May. Find out the truth of things. We don't need a war within Shield and she was your friend." 

"We'll handle that when the time comes. Right now Skye is priority."

"Alright well lets go see our girl."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's hella short. I'm sitting at work feeling like an absolute twat for leaving you guys hanging so damn long. I'm going to try and write something with some length tonight. But my good intentions always die. So no promises. I need to get something out before the start of my son's soccer season. I'm coaching and I have no idea what free time is during season. But I will try! I just wanted to get this out. The conversation has been on my mind today.


	7. I’m back!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I’ve missed this. I got promoted to manager at my store which means I’m working 60 hours and getting paid for 50 of them. My kids are in sports which I love but that means in my spare time I eat and sleep and not much else. It turns out I gotta be here all night because my cashier is a waste of space. So I’ll write! It’s been a while, I’m on my phone, and my screen is shattered all to hell. There will be mistakes. Lol. I’m so sorry for that. I commented back to a couple of you and I’ll probably go back and respond to everyone but I’m ready to get to writing! I appreciate every single review I get. You guys have no idea. Even if I don’t respond to them. They make my day and break my heart at the same time. I so wish I had more time to write. Well this note has been disrespectfully long. Onto the writing!!

Skye wasn’t ready to wake up. She wasn’t even close to being ready to open her eyes. Her body felt like 10 tons of lead and she just wanted to stay asleep in peaceful oblivion. Unfortunately she could hear everything going on in the room. She could hear Nat and Bruce worrying over her. She is really having a hard time understanding why it sounds like they care about her. That can’t possibly be right. Maybe she’s dreaming. She starts to sink back into unconsciousness before she can think about it too much. 

Skye really wished people would stop coming in the room and being so loud. Did they not know she was trying to sleep? Is there nowhere else in this huge building that they can go and discuss whatever it is that is so important? Why does that sound so much like Captain America? Why does he sound so upset? She fought to clear her head of the fog clouding it so she could hear what was being said. Is he really here asking about her? Why does he sound so concerned about her? She’s nothing but trouble to these people. She doesn’t have time to think about it further before she’s pulled under again by her exhaustion. 

The next time she comes to she actually feels like she may be able to open her eyes. She immediately regrets it when the light completely disrespects her eyeballs and closes them with a groan. She wants to just go back to sleep but for the love of all that is good in this world she needs something to drink and a good teeth brushing. 

She chances opening her eyes again and sees that she’s alone in the room. She really doesn’t remember how she got there or why. She still feels like there’s a fog in her head and she’s having a hard time focusing her thoughts. She starts to get snippets back of her coming to the tower and introducing herself and her baggage. She remembers the disaster of a nightmare she had when she tried to sleep that first night. More than anything she keeps remembering red and green. 

She really can’t explain why but thinking of her makes her feel this intense sense of calm. She remembers how she got her powers to stop. How she got her to use control she didn’t know she possessed. She trusted her and she couldn’t explain why. It’s all pretty much coming back to her now, but it seems so surreal she can’t really tell if it all happened or if she finally passed out and dreamt it all. 

Bruce’s tablet went off at the first sign of a spiked heart rate and he immediately headed for his lab. He was hoping she had woken up but there could be a number of reasons for the change. When he got there he noticed his star patient groggily taking in her surroundings. He tells Jarvis to let the others know that Skye has finally woken up but to give her some space until he has had a chance to check her over. 

“Welcome back Skye, how are you feeling?” 

Skye opened her mouth and attempted to speak but was quickly reminded of her need for water. Noticing her discomfort Bruce jumped up to get her a glass. 

“Take small sips, if you drink too much too quickly you’ll get sick. I’m in no hurry so take your time.” He reassured her. 

“Thank you” it was barely more than a whisper. She cleared her throat to try and get some more sound to come out. She had so many questions. “How long have I been out?” 

“Just 3 Days. Your body needed time to recover. I know you haven’t been sleeping. Skye you really can’t do that again. If you are afraid of sleeping then please come to us. We can figure things out. Staying awake for weeks at a time is going to kill you.” He tried not to be too stern but she needed to understand the severity of the situation. 

Skye knew he was right. She knew the damage that not sleeping could cause. But she had felt okay. Her body had felt so much stronger than before. She found little difficulty in staying awake and training for hours and keeping herself busy. She didn’t want to hurt anyone. She couldn’t keep control when she was asleep. She could never live with herself if she brought the building down or even harmed a single hair on any of their heads. She was a danger. A risk to have around. It was a mistake to come here instead of going somewhere more secluded. 

Bruce could see the myriad of emotions going across her face. He really did understand what she was going through. His situation was so different but also so similar. “Skye look I get it. I know you’re afraid of yourself right now. Afraid for those around you. Afraid to sleep and lose that fragile grip on control that you have. I used to be afraid that when I slept the other guy would be the one who woke up. I always feel him. He’s always with me. I have to keep him away every minute of my life and be careful of every situation that I put myself in. But I’m still living my life. I found a way to live with it. I found ways to deal with it and gain better control. These abilities are so new for you, no one expects you to have a handle on them already. But what you need to understand is we want to help you. I know you can’t see why anyone would care but we do. We don’t just want you here because your powers could be an asset. What you don’t see is that we all see ourselves in you. Every one of us has struggled with who we are. With what we’ve done. With what we could do. We want to help you. You only have to let us.” 

Skye was equal parts in disbelief of the passionate speech she had just been on the receiving end of and grateful. While it didn’t remove her reservations it did help. She could see what he was saying. Everyone knew Natasha was groomed for asassination and espionage. Bruce turned into a giant green destruction machine when he got angry. Tony’s issues were usually well documented in the news and tabloids. She knew they all had their issues. She still didn’t know why they cared about her but she wanted to believe it. She felt herself gravitating towards hope and that scared her more than anything else. Hope was so dangerous. 

“I just... I never asked for this. I never wanted this. All I have ever wanted was to belong somewhere. To do something good and meaningful with my life. I just wanted to know who I am and find my place in this world. I never wanted this. And my team... how can I live with knowing i put them in danger? By not leaving sooner I was such a threat to them. They’re so scared of me. I did that. I loved them and I just wanted to belong. I just wanted to do good.” By the end the tears she had fought so valiantly to hold back we’re rolling down her cheeks. 

She had needed to get that out. Her overload of emotions had been eating at her since she left. The pain of rejection. She played it off like it didn’t hurt but it had destroyed her. Why? Because she had hoped. She had let herself believe that the team was her family. She had believed that people could care about her. That maybe she was worth someone’s love and time after 25 years of never mattering to anyone. That hope had been her undoing. She couldn’t let that happen again. She would protect her heart this time. Even after everything Bruce had said to her she still couldn’t let herself hope again. She had learned that lesson. 

“Skye you have done good and I have no doubt you’ll continue to do so. Is it so hard to believe that someone could care about you? I don’t know why your team reacted the way they did. People usually lash out in fear of things they don’t understand. I can’t speak for them but I can speak for all of us. We aren’t afraid of you. We aren’t keeping you here just to use you. We all just want to help you. I know it’s aomething you’ve never had but this is something that people do. Sometimes we just want to help. Despite your experiences growing up, we’re not all bad. But I can show you better than I can tell you. Please give us a chance Skye. Stay here a little while longer. Let us help you. We can move your bed into my hulk room if you would like. It’s reinforced and meant for my other half to let loose so I think it will be able to handle you.” 

She had to admit the idea was more than appealing. She could stay a little longer without committing to anything, right? She just had to keep her guard up. She could stay. She would give herself another chance. Sleep in the hulk room. What other option did she really have? She had no reason to trust this man but at the same time she had no reason not to. 

“I’ll stay.” She couldn’t meet his eyes as she said it. “I’ll stay but will you please help me. I don’t want to live my life afraid of losing control. I don’t want to hurt anyone.” She finally chanced a look at him and she met nothing but sincerity in his eyes. 

“You don’t even have to ask. We would all be happy to help you. Just please don’t take off on us as soon as you’re able and think that isolating yourself is the answer. I’ve been there and done that and it wasn’t a solution to my problems at all. It made things worse if anything.” His phone had been beeping incessantly for the last 5 minutes. “I think there are some other people who would like to see you. You up for it?”

She really didn’t want to see everyone right now. She didn’t have the best handle on her emotions. She really did owe them so much gratitude. She was still welcome here. She couldn’t wrap her head around it. But she knew she needed to see them and express her thanks. She knew when she came that they were the best option if she wanted help controlling her powers. She was either going to have to take this chance or do exactly what Bruce had just told her not to do. 

“If they would like to see me they can come. But one of them better have a cheeseburger and lots of salty fries with them when they walk through the door.” Humor is her best tool for hiding her emotions. And also she felt like she could probably eat Bruce. 3 days with nothing but supplemental feedings had her ready to murder a big juicy burger. 

“I’ll pass the messsge along.” He chuckled as he typed out a quick text and walked to the monitors to check things over while they waited for everyone to make their way in. 

Steve was predictably the first person to come through the door and Skye saw the apology enter the room before he did. “I don’t want to hear it Steven. I’m fine and it wasn’t intentional. No one in the world thinks you would ever knock a woman out on purpose. The only apology I want is for the lack of food in your hands.” She flashed him what she hoped was a convincing smile. 

He was just about to argue with her when Tony came striding in with a greasy paper bag that smelled sinfully good. “How you eat this garbage is beyond me, but your wish is my command. Glad to see you among the living.” He gladly passed the stinking bag to her eager outstretched hands. 

“Don’t you disrespect the food dude. This kept me alive for years. It’s done me good, I’d say. You really don’t know what you’re missing. Fancy food has nothing on good ol fast food!” The greasier the better. She tucked right into it. 

“Skye are you even tasting that? Slow down. Enjoy it a little bit.” Steve couldn’t deny he was impressed. But she was literally inhaling it. 

She tried to clap back but it wasn’t really audible considering she had just stuffed about 9 fries in her mouth. She earned some laughter from her efforts though. She could almost forget the breakdown she had had before they all came in. This was what she was good with. Comic relief and pretending her pain didn’t exist. 

Over the next couple of hours the avengers came and went with the exception of one. She joked and jeered and assured them all she was fine and she had to let Cap get at least one hit in because she had been embarrassing him badly before she took mercy on him. She resigned herself to another night in the lab after hours of trying to convince Bruce to let her leave. He wasn’t budging. He had threatened to sedate her if she tried to keep herself awake. 

“Skye you slept for 3 days and never so much as trembled. I will wake you up at the first sign of a nightmare. And Jarvis is constantly monitoring your vitals. If your heart rate elevates even for 3 seconds I’ll be notified of it. You can sleep. The building will still be standing and in perfect condition when you wake up.”

“Can I at least leave for a while? Go for a walk? Have dinner with you guys? Watch a movie? I’ll come back here to sleep where I can be monitored but I’m telling you I feel fine. Please let me break out for a couple of hours.” She hoped her puppy dog face had the effect she was going for. 

“Alright. I really don’t need to keep an eye on you when you’re awake. Your vitals haven’t shown anything that concerns me. Go relax and interact. I’ll see you back when you’re ready to sleep. And you will be sleeping!” He left no room for argument. 

She could hardly contain her relief as she waited for him to unhook her and pass her a pair of sweats. She had tunnel vision and couldn’t wait to get to the kitchen. Once she was dressed and had the all clear to leave the lab she made it to the kitchen faster than she thought possible. Clint was in there making sandwiches and she pouted at him until he agreed to make her a couple. She had to keep reminding herself not to get too comfortable with these people but on some level she really couldn’t help herself. They made it hard not to want to be carefree in their presence. 

Skye was too busy stuffing her face to notice someone else walk into the kitchen and start to approach her. 

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” Nat couldn’t help herself. It was so good to see her awake and eating and out of a bed and being social. 

Skye immediately choked on her food and started trying to expel it from her throat. Clint gave her a solid thwack on the back and it did the trick. She was gasping for air as Clint laughed at her and Natasha was looking at her worriedly. She was also slightly amused but that could wait. 

“You okay? I didn’t mean to scare you. I brought you something though.” Skye had been so busy choking to death she hadn’t even noticed that Natasha wasn’t alone. “I believe you’ve heard of Deputy Director Maria Hill right?”

Skye had just got her breathing back in order when she nearly lost her breath again. This was it. She was going to be escorted off of the property. Possibly taken into custody. They had deemed her too dangerous to remain free. She felt her stomach stink to the floor and a lump rise in her throat, again. 

Natasha immediately noticed the change and quickly realized her mistake. She gave Maria a solid jab to the ribs and gestures for her to introduce herself and give the girl some reassurance. She looked like she was on the verge of a panic attack and that wouldn’t be beneficial to anyone’s health. 

“Skye it’s really good to finally meet you. Nat has told me a bit about you. Bruce said you’re on limited time out of medical prison. What do you say to watching a movie and maybe getting to know each other?” She knew a runner when she saw one. She needed to establish good intentions before Skye took off and didn’t look back. 

Skye was stunned. She was so sure when Nat introduced someone so important that her days in the tower were done. Her immediate instinct was to run. To leave and put this behind her and go somewhere where even Shield couldn’t find her. But for right now she couldn’t do that. She had to bide her time and keep aware of her surroundings and make sure to be on her guard at all times. There’s no way Maria Hill just wants to watch a movie and get to know her. There’s just no way. But what could she do right now? Nothing. 

“Yeah that sounds good” she says with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. She was going to have to get out of here and she was going to have to do it quick. This is why she doesn’t get comfortable. This is why she doesn’t let herself hope or develop attachments to people or places or things for that matter. She needed this reminder. Maria Hill and people of her status and import do not come and watch movies with a stray. She’ll figure out what she wants. And she’ll be ready to get out of there when the time comes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry for this chapter as a whole. I’m ignorantly tired and it’s kind of a mess. I’m just so sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> Any mistakes are my own. It's late but this is the only time I'm going to be able to write. I'm a single mother of 2 and I work full time and on good weeks overtime. My writing takes the very back seat, actually its in the trunk. I am sorry about that but its life. Hope you enjoy this. I'ts going to be a long one I think. I cant get Skye and Natasha out of my head and there is a sad lack of fics about them.


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